For Families
01 Color Coding
When they were younger, the kids had their own colored, plastic cup/plate/bowl. Not only did I know who didn't eat their food, it also helped them to be responsible for washing their own dishes to help them learn responsibility early on. When they got older, I let them choose their own glass cup/bowl/plate. We use matching dishes for Friday nights and special occasions. I even let myself be okay with using disposable plates on meals where I just need to lighten my load.
02 Symbols
Each child got an easy to draw symbol that I would use instead of writing their name on things (like cups at birthday parties or disposable water bottles). This helped when they were too young to read and made it a faster process as they grew. Here are the symbols we used: sun, smiley face, star, and heart.
03 Meals
I'll admit, meal planning is probably my least favorite part of parenting. I started making extra at dinner so that we could have leftovers for lunch. I also got finger foods (like lunchables you buy from the store) as another lunch option. I always found a job for the kids to do in meal prep, even when they were little. We turned on music and made it fun. We may or may not have danced around the kitchen island a few times.
04 Talk
My alternative to spanking was a WHOLE lot of talking. We talked about how certain actions made us feel, how they made other people feel, what would have been a better way of dealing with our problem, and what the Bible has to say about it. I almost always had a bible verse that would be a reliable tool for remembering what to do next time.
Sometimes there would be natural or logical consequences. From the outside looking in, it may have looked like no consequences were given. But I have always been more concerned about helping them to become functional adults instead of the consequence.
I tried to ask myself how I would feel in their situation and how would I want someone to handle it with me. I also tried to remember that, because they have my DNA, they will probably have similar reactions to things like me. If I was feeling unloved, I would sometimes be cranky. If I was tired, I would sometimes be easily irritated. There is almost always a deeper issue that required attention and where a consequence would only fuel the fire.
05 Compliment $$
So we got compliments when we were out running errands with the kids. In fact, we still do.
One morning, the kids were being cranky from being up late the night before. I really needed to go grocery shopping that day and wanted the kids to behave. So I told them for every compliment they got, I would give them a quarter each. Mind you, this was several years ago when a quarter was cool because they could put it into a candy machine (remember those??).
This totally worked!!
I didn't do this their whole childhood, but long enough to get the results I wanted. I eventually began the process of phasing this type of childhood income out.
I am not opposed to paying them for good behavior. We pay them for good grades, mowing the lawn, and I believe good manners should also be rewarded.
I also "paid" them in jellybeans, M&M's, etc. when they were potty training.
Hey, I got the results I wanted!
Maybe it'll work for you, too.
06 Journal
One of the most treasured advice that was given to me as a parent of a newborn was to write down moments. I have been journaling everything from milestones to funny quotes to events. Sometimes, I only write a couple of sentences. Once in a while, I will read them to each one as special bonding moments. It's hard to remember everything and when they get older, those moments are even more special.
ANGER
"He who controls his temper is better than a war hero, he who rules his Spirit better than he who captures a city." -Proverbs 16:32
"Starting a fight is like letting water through a dike-- better stop the quarrel before it gets worse." -Proverbs 17:14
"People with good sense are slow to anger, and it is their glory to overlook an offense." -Proverbs 19:11
LOVE
"Love is patient and kind, not jealous...not proud, rude or selfish, not easily angered...love always trusts, always hopes, always endures." - 1 Corinthians 13: 4 - 8
"But for now, three things last -- trust, hope, love; and the greatest of these is love." -1 Corinthians 13:13
"Always treat others as you would like them to treat you..." -Matthew 7:12
Resources
Baby Wise by Gary Ezzo
This helped me when the kids were babies.
The Five Love Languages of Children by Gary Chapman
This book is great for understanding love languages from children's perspective.
Love and Respect in the Family by Eggerichs
Males need respect and females need love. This book is approaches this concept for the family.
Rush Revere book series
These are historical fiction with some real pictures of history. They are fun and we read them together as a family.
iMOM.com
I love this site.
starfall.com
This site is awesome for helping with reading for beginners.
Brain Games
This is a series we like to watch on how the brain works. It is super fun and cool. Bonding moments and learning at the same time.
Abs, Core, and Pelvic Floor: Core Dysfunction and Diastasis Recti Recovery by Natalie Hodson
nataliehodson.com
Most women don't know that their ab muscles do not return to their normal state and that doing sit-ups/crunches can make it worse. This is a great resource.
